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Benskett
Level 10 User
Joined: 05 Mar 2005
Posts: 570
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| Posted:
Thu Jun 02, 2005 2:29 am |
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there was two men in a bar and along comes a very well dressed man. The two guys that were sat down looked over and one of them said to the other "I wonder what he does?"
the other man replied "I don't know why don't you ask him". He goes over to the well dress man and say "Hi, you look very smart I am just wondering what you do as a job?"
"I'm a pshycic analist" the well dressed man replied, "what do you mean?". "well I'll give you an example of what I do".
Well dressed guy "Do you have a gold fish?"
Table guy "yes"
well dressed guy "So you have some kids?"
Table guy "yes"
well dressed guy "So I'm guessing you have a wife?"
Table guy "yes"
well dressed guy "so you get alot of action, you don't need to masterbaite alot then?"
Table guy "yeah, a fair amount of action and I don't need to masterbaite alot"
well dressed guy "See that's what I do from asking about a gold fish I know you have kids, a wife and that you are sexually active"
The Table guys walks back to his friend, sits down. Table guys friend asks "what does he do then?"
Table guy replys "Do you have a goldfish?"
friend "No"
Table guy "So your a wanker then!"
ANOTHER
A married couple was on vacation in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods when they passed this small sandal shop.
From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You! Foreigners! Come in, come into my humble shop."
So the married couple walked in.
The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. They make you wild at sex."
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was.
The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"
The Jamaican replied, "Just try them on."
Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.
The Jamaican then began screaming; "YOU GOT THEM ON THE WRONG FEET!!!" |
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Benskett
Level 10 User
Joined: 05 Mar 2005
Posts: 570
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| Posted:
Thu Jun 02, 2005 3:44 am |
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mals
Self Proclaimed Comic Genius
Joined: 04 Jul 2004
Posts: 3482
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| Posted:
Thu Jun 02, 2005 3:46 am |
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Chris H
Forum Moderator
Joined: 02 Mar 2004
Posts: 19978
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| Posted:
Thu Jun 02, 2005 3:49 am |
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Benskett
Level 10 User
Joined: 05 Mar 2005
Posts: 570
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| Posted:
Thu Jun 02, 2005 3:58 am |
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Lindsey
Level 10 User
Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 621
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| Posted:
Fri Jun 03, 2005 3:51 pm |
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Budji
Level 3 User
Joined: 05 Aug 2004
Posts: 70
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| Posted:
Mon Jun 13, 2005 12:52 am |
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FincH
Site Subscriber
Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Posts: 569
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| Posted:
Mon Jun 13, 2005 3:00 am |
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Lol.
Here's A good one:
An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.
"What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.
"Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live alone
by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young
woman tied to the tracks, like in the films. I, of course, went and
cut her free and took her back to my place.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love
all night, in the bedroom, living room, kitchen, bathroom, all over the
house.We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, like
doggies, every position imaginable!"
Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky *******. Was she
pretty?"
"Dunno... never found the head!"
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