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3rd November 2006, 03:17 AM
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Comic Genius
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Location, Location
Posts: 4,228
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Q How do you know policemen are strong?
A Because they can hold up traffic.
__________________
Some days it is just not worth gnawing through the straps Going Cold Turkey Isn't as delicious as it sounds Today the Voices told me to clean all the guns What if the Hokey Cokey really is what it's all about? Ban Baby Oil and stop the senseless slaughter |
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3rd November 2006, 03:18 AM
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#3 (permalink) | ||||||||||||||
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Comic Genius
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Location, Location
Posts: 4,228
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Q What do you give a dog with a fever?
A Ketchup. (It's good for a hot dog.)
__________________
Some days it is just not worth gnawing through the straps Going Cold Turkey Isn't as delicious as it sounds Today the Voices told me to clean all the guns What if the Hokey Cokey really is what it's all about? Ban Baby Oil and stop the senseless slaughter |
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3rd November 2006, 03:19 AM
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#4 (permalink) | ||||||||||||||
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Comic Genius
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Location, Location
Posts: 4,228
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Q How do you kill a circus?
A Go for the juggler
__________________
Some days it is just not worth gnawing through the straps Going Cold Turkey Isn't as delicious as it sounds Today the Voices told me to clean all the guns What if the Hokey Cokey really is what it's all about? Ban Baby Oil and stop the senseless slaughter |
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3rd November 2006, 03:20 AM
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#5 (permalink) | ||||||||||||||
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Comic Genius
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Location, Location
Posts: 4,228
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs
__________________
Some days it is just not worth gnawing through the straps Going Cold Turkey Isn't as delicious as it sounds Today the Voices told me to clean all the guns What if the Hokey Cokey really is what it's all about? Ban Baby Oil and stop the senseless slaughter |
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3rd November 2006, 03:20 AM
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#6 (permalink) | ||||||||||||||
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Comic Genius
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Location, Location
Posts: 4,228
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought "he's trying to pull a fast one".
__________________
Some days it is just not worth gnawing through the straps Going Cold Turkey Isn't as delicious as it sounds Today the Voices told me to clean all the guns What if the Hokey Cokey really is what it's all about? Ban Baby Oil and stop the senseless slaughter |
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3rd November 2006, 03:21 AM
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#7 (permalink) | ||||||||||||||
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Comic Genius
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Location, Location
Posts: 4,228
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So I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?". I said "I've been on telly, but I'm no Dean Martin".
__________________
Some days it is just not worth gnawing through the straps Going Cold Turkey Isn't as delicious as it sounds Today the Voices told me to clean all the guns What if the Hokey Cokey really is what it's all about? Ban Baby Oil and stop the senseless slaughter |
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3rd November 2006, 03:21 AM
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#8 (permalink) | ||||||||||||||
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Comic Genius
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Location, Location
Posts: 4,228
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So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?". He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays".
__________________
Some days it is just not worth gnawing through the straps Going Cold Turkey Isn't as delicious as it sounds Today the Voices told me to clean all the guns What if the Hokey Cokey really is what it's all about? Ban Baby Oil and stop the senseless slaughter |
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3rd November 2006, 03:22 AM
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#9 (permalink) | ||||||||||||||
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Comic Genius
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Location, Location
Posts: 4,228
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But I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.
__________________
Some days it is just not worth gnawing through the straps Going Cold Turkey Isn't as delicious as it sounds Today the Voices told me to clean all the guns What if the Hokey Cokey really is what it's all about? Ban Baby Oil and stop the senseless slaughter |
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3rd November 2006, 03:22 AM
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#10 (permalink) | ||||||||||||||
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Comic Genius
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Location, Location
Posts: 4,228
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You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.
__________________
Some days it is just not worth gnawing through the straps Going Cold Turkey Isn't as delicious as it sounds Today the Voices told me to clean all the guns What if the Hokey Cokey really is what it's all about? Ban Baby Oil and stop the senseless slaughter |
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3rd November 2006, 03:22 AM
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#11 (permalink) | ||||||||||||||
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Comic Genius
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Location, Location
Posts: 4,228
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So I rang up British Telecom, I said "I want to report a nuisance caller", he said "Not you again".
He said "You remind me of a pepper-pot", I said "I'll take that as a condiment".
__________________
Some days it is just not worth gnawing through the straps Going Cold Turkey Isn't as delicious as it sounds Today the Voices told me to clean all the guns What if the Hokey Cokey really is what it's all about? Ban Baby Oil and stop the senseless slaughter |
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3rd November 2006, 03:23 AM
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#12 (permalink) | ||||||||||||||
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Comic Genius
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Location, Location
Posts: 4,228
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags, he's bisatchel.
__________________
Some days it is just not worth gnawing through the straps Going Cold Turkey Isn't as delicious as it sounds Today the Voices told me to clean all the guns What if the Hokey Cokey really is what it's all about? Ban Baby Oil and stop the senseless slaughter |
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3rd November 2006, 03:23 AM
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#13 (permalink) | ||||||||||||||
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Comic Genius
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Location, Location
Posts: 4,228
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, "Are you two an item?".
__________________
Some days it is just not worth gnawing through the straps Going Cold Turkey Isn't as delicious as it sounds Today the Voices told me to clean all the guns What if the Hokey Cokey really is what it's all about? Ban Baby Oil and stop the senseless slaughter |
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3rd November 2006, 03:24 AM
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#14 (permalink) | ||||||||||||||
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Comic Genius
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Location, Location
Posts: 4,228
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins, I thought "That's a turtle disaster".
__________________
Some days it is just not worth gnawing through the straps Going Cold Turkey Isn't as delicious as it sounds Today the Voices told me to clean all the guns What if the Hokey Cokey really is what it's all about? Ban Baby Oil and stop the senseless slaughter |
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3rd November 2006, 03:24 AM
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#15 (permalink) | ||||||||||||||
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Comic Genius
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Location, Location
Posts: 4,228
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Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here".
__________________
Some days it is just not worth gnawing through the straps Going Cold Turkey Isn't as delicious as it sounds Today the Voices told me to clean all the guns What if the Hokey Cokey really is what it's all about? Ban Baby Oil and stop the senseless slaughter |
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