Groan

[mals]

An on duty Gendarme spots a hire car approaching the Champs Elysees with a rear light out. He beckons the driver to pull over, which he does and winds his window down. The Officer has a good look inside the car and notices that the driver and passenger are conjoined twins. Instead of making an issue over the light out situation he begins to engage in some friendly chat.

Gendarme: Ah, you are on holiday my friends?

Davy: Aye, that's right big yin. We've been coming every September weekend for the last 9 years.

Gendarme: So I guess you come to France to get away from ze rainy weather you have in Ecosse?

Davy: Naw, it nearly always pishes doon when we come here. Your weather's nae better than oors, in't that right Boaby?

Boaby: Aye.

Gendarme: Zen I take it you are here to enjoy our delicious French food, very healthy.

Davy: Naw, yer food's mingin big man, everything reeks of garlic. We've brought a box full of pieces to avoid eating your sh*te.

Gendarme: Zen you must be here to drink our famous wines and cognac, surely.

Davy: Yer swally's boggin, we've hid tae bring a kerry oot. In't that right Boaby?

Boaby: Aye.

Gendarme (by now ever so slightly bemused): Well in that case you must be here to see the Parisienne madamoiselles, ze most beautiful women in Europe.

Davy: Yer kiddin in't ye! The burds here are dugs, ah widnae touch them wae a ten fit pole big yin.

Gendarme (by now rather irate): Zen why do you people come to our country if everysing ees so bad?

Boaby: It's the only chance oor Davy gets tae drive