bad

[mals]

I had car crash the other day. I went right up someone’s arse. The driver got out and happened to be a dwarf. He said to me, “I’m not happy.” I said, “Well which one are you?”

[mals]

A man’s running his eye over a menu in a restaurant when his attractive waitress asks him what he’d fancy. “A quickie, please” “Sir,” she says, “I’ll ask you one more time, is there anything that takes your fancy?” “Yes,” says the man again. “A quickie.” Outraged she slaps him across the face and storms back across the restaurant in a huff. “Mate,” says the guy at the next table, “it’s pronounced ‘quiche’.”


One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. “Anything you say can and will be used against you,” she barks. So he looks at her and says, “breasts.”