Hungry Lion

[mals]

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter.
The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.
Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp

[mals]

I was driving to the office one morning, when I got a phone call from my boss.
"You've been promoted" he said, and I was so surprised that I swerved.
A few minutes later, I got another call. "You've been given a raise". I was so excited that I swerved again.
Later I got a third call. "You've been made CEO". And I swerved again and ran into a tree.
As I was waiting there, I saw a policeman. "what happened?" he asked.
"I careered off the road..."

[mals]

You'd never believe it, but I bumped into a famous stuntman in a motorcycle shop the other day.
He was complaining because he couldn't decide whether to buy a bike with a high top speed but poor acceleration, or one with lots of torque and a fast acceleration but a poor top speed.
Eventually he decided on the second one because it cost a lot less.
After all, torque is cheap.