Primary School Class

[mals]

A primary school teacher had just finished showing a video for a sex ed class and was discussing the topic with the class ........ A boy put his hand up and said "that video is wrong miss, my dad as 2 penis's".... "Don't be silly, thats impossible" the teacher said.... " its true miss" said the boy "dads got a little one that he pees out of and one to clean mummy's teeth!! "

[mals]

Ready for another ?...



Two teenage girls at school, 1 really posh and the other is a bit of a slapper, teacher asks the posh one, give me a sentence using the word improper, she replies with her posh accent, "the weekend my father was digging up potatoes using a spade, that was improper he should have used a fork". Teacher asks the same question to the slapper "last night my boyfriend was shagging me and when his bollox was slapping against my arse, i new he was in proper !!!

[mals]

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles.

'OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - . Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'

To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?

[mals]

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could
relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.

"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied.

He was in obviously agony, lying in the foetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his trousers and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful
massage for several minutes and asked , "How does that feel"?

He replied: "It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken."